"Resident"

Granted I look like stone-washed hell,...but I'm working on it. Put on my dress uniform for the battle. Recovery continues...mostly. Eating solids plus soup all staying down so far. Still weird dizzy, a bit confused....well no change there.

Just this,...never ever. I mean not even 'ever' take your health for granted...'cause it ain't.
Taking pain meds, and barfing stopper. Mixed results...we'll see. Good news I'm detoxing from them depression meds which just made me sick anyway.
Gooder news I'm still my old cranky annoying Drama Queen self.


I think I'd make a neat President,....I mean now that we know 'anyone' can get the job.
Did I mention I'm seeing bleep at my peripheral vision?


...but I digress.


Anyhow yeah I'd be a totally insane Boss of bosses down in D.C. Unlike our current patient there I'd have fun with shit. First off I'd have my new "Department of Happy Surprises" Fed-Ex everyone nice shit. For example voter or not legal or not you get a birthday present...sorry no returns. This neat-o Department will from time to give out goodies to everyone just because it's nice to do...ya know how if ya was lucky that weird nice uncle or aunt that would just show up with neat shit for everyone...hey what's government for?


We'd have the damned Army Navy 'n Marines set up emergency field clinics/hospitals everywhere...I mean everywhere because what is this shit we're in, but not a national Disaster.
...special attention to the Black Lung victims in mining country. The opioid addiction regions. Special attention to kids, and the elderly. Make like we was just nuked, and we're putting shit back together 'cause it ain't all that different from that now.


A "Department of Chefs"!

New chefs all over the place cooking up 5 Star meals for everybody that wants or needs 'em.. That, and delivered by our Army...heck if I was a kid I'd join up to be part of this swell stuff. Imagine them new giant ass "King Stallion" choppers landing in the middle of a forsaken 'Murican" town. That and keen to serve G.I.s poring out to feed the hungry comfort the sorrowful, and heal the wounded. "Protect, and Serve" finally come to life!

(...How's this serious noise for Meals on Wheels!)

Also perhaps an "Institute of Safe Desserts. This would in league with the UN. Basically fixing it so creamy yummies won't give ya cancer diabetes or bad vibes. Figuring out how to make all the world's yummy stuff safe to eat...without killing the damned flavor! We went to the frigging Moon sent two Voyagers to the stars, and have bleeping robots fucking around on mars...I think we could do this too.
All this in the first year or so...I mean besides building the "Woodstock Stonewall Monument", and all the usual crap of running an empire.


"Yes Uncle, but how we gonna pay for all this neat bleep?"

You kidding? Most of this swell action could be brought in for the cost of three or four Super Aircraft Carriers, and the proposed fleet of F-35's...which don't work. That, and as once classified documents from the Naval Proceedings tell us. Them new carriers would have a short life expectancy in an actual war with folks that can shoot back,...say our pals Russia or China. In a 'real' war them big things live from hours to a week...max. So bleep that noise use the dough to have a good time healing caring feeding, and giving out gifts to our fucked over masses.

Btw did I mention National Health Care, and universal higher education.
No? Okay that's in the next memo.

Love,

Uncle Syd Resident of the United States of America.

Eh,...I'm not raving am I?


Stay Tuned.


"No More Mr. Nice Guy"

On the other hand. If I am not elevated to the esteemed position of  "Resident of the United States" as I propose in earlier posts. Perhaps when the Revolution comes,...and goes. I shall present myself as "Comrade Peoples Judge Uncle Syd" for the Southern Judicial District of New York.

After so grand an adventure as the founding of the Revolutionary Second American Republic. There will be no doubt much eh...um local "cleansing", and tiding up of borders to do.  After all there is the question of what to do with...Racist sexist cab drivers, and those that don't flush in public crappers subway conductors that slam the damn door in your face. 'Everybody' at the DMV. These will face stern judgment. Stern indeed.

Millennial airhead clerks in shops who when you ask for help with an item just blankly stare into space, and...wait for it. ...say, "...just what's there", and then sink their heads back into their devices...their end shall be particularly bad.

Of course lawyers landlords violent killer cops gangsters bullies the generally annoying such as phony beggars that give the real needy such bad press will face swift, and more that slightly entertaining "Justice" from my steady device-less hands.

Then there's peoples enemies in the extreme. The hard cases. The class enemies that made the peoples revolutions necessary in the first place. These the food, and water poisoning oil spilling nature murdering child starving old folks evicting immigrant deporting war profiteering news distorting butt holes of eternity...Republicans.

I can hardly wait.

They'll all...indeed 'all' offenders will receive Peoples Mercy,...with a twist.

I shall help bring Revolutionary humor to the Law!

!Venceremos!