"Vignette",...or my life as a Sock Puppet.

A few weeks back I was walking over to the Church of the Holy Apostles. This to speak with the commie lawyers that were helping me with my Senior citizen problems. That, and a hot free lunch the Church gleefully gives to folks.

Well I was crossing 7th avenue on my way to ninth when I nearly passes out. My vision went full tunnel there was a buzzing ringing in my ears I began to mis-step barely making it across the street.

I leaned against the wall of "FIT" ya know the Fashion Institute. It figures in that past life I mentioned. The one which had become an 'echo of an echo". In that other world I had gone here often. Many lectures, and projects all that noise from my former professional life

That day it was as distant, and remote as a long canceled TV series.

I was actually experiencing the effects of malnutrition. Get that ...big "M" Malnutrition. Not merely poor nutrition as I tidied it up when I rarely speak of it.  This was the real deal.

I've endured many things in my life...being attacked several times by gangs of white kids when I was little being raped at day camp constant physical/emotional abuse also as a kid.  Attempting suicide...several times, and not just to get attention.

...I meant it.

Skipping ahead to middle, and late adulthood being caregiver to aging relatives...then losing my house living on the streets for a year. After that, and with no treatment for the homeless PTSD effects, enduring a fratricidal prolonged labor dispute at the radio foundation I devoted decades to.

Finally the near lot of us being laid off because of threatened chapter 11...tell me if I'm boring you...forcefully retired thereby losing my identity, and purpose. Chronic illness. Emotional disability. Also losing so many friends to early death, and lately routinely being fucked over by the department of old farts.

Basically they cut off my meds, and food.

It took six months to get it all back thanks to them neat lawyers the church steered me towards. I brings all this up because besides having to sell almost all my possessions during this recent disaster just to live, see my post "The Famine of 2016", I'm having flash backs, and physical traumas from six months of what my Doc officially just said was prolonged malnutrition.

All this still beats living in Syria or most any place else on this slaughter house of a planet. Still.

Anyway as I sit here I'm eating Dramamine like popcorn to control the constant dry heaves, vertigo, and sometimes serious confusion due the recent famine.

Damn...them spooks at the hospital weren't kidding. It 'will' take months to physically heal from all that noise. I thought a few cheese burgers, and pizza would do it. No dice. Btw I also officially have more as yet untreated PTSD from this stuff as well.

Well it'll have to get on line because I've got years of trauma ahead of it that's also waiting for treatment. I may be able to fit it in sometime in 2019 or so.

...take a number, and wait.

Otherwise I'm still the same swell guy I always was. Anything happen while I was away?


Stay Tuned.

"Aftermath of the Famine of 2016"

Woke up this morning all fuzzy, and nuts. Sort of like when I used to be abducted by them Grey space alien bastards when I was a young kid. Never did find out what the hell they wanted with me.

Anyhow.

Today I will have Pizza. I dreamed of this common artery clogger during the recent famine I lived in. No not fruit veggies or health broth or such,...but a heaping loaded bleeping pizza with all the greasy trimmings.

Yep that's todays goal.

Um,....maybe not. Eating heavy greasy crap after long fasting or hunger will just make you sick. Trust me on this one,....just been there.

I read up on how to treat long term malnutrition. Seems it takes months. Btw as I mentioned below no one in my public life knows this happened. I came out here on this page.

I thought of putting stuff on my Facebook site, but figured that would cause of riot of pity...no thanks. I love you too, but...ya know.

Well okay I did go to the Holy Apostles Church. They knew, and knew what to do...bless they're sweet tasty hearts.

This event was much like my adventures when I was Houseless near ten years ago,...wow times flies. This was sort of worse because everything looked normal...just no food.

I had my house my toys all that, but was going hungry...so strange. So very strange. During this I read "900 Days: The Siege of Leningrad". This by Harrison Salisbury. Though I had to sell almost all my books during those too interesting six months. I kept a few...this was one.

I recommend it.

Regular everyday people caught up in a medieval style Siege. Albeit with mid-20th century weapons at play. It still came down to classic siege behavior.

Basically things break down, and you do what you must. You do things you never imagined yourself as being part of. Stuff you saw in documentaries suddenly have you in if not a staring role certainly as an extra.

I see myself now in one of those grainy black, and white film clips. I'm in the background trudging along with the other proles through the mud. I say this, and am amazed. I was there...actually there.

So I ended up in a Soup kitchen along with other stunned members of those in their golden retirement years,...surprise comrades, and here's your bread, and bowl of stew.

Which btw tasted great.

However at that point the glue that binds books or shoe leather would have tasted great. As the professors of Literature found out as the Siege of Leningrad progressed.

Unlike Leningrad there was food all around me.

I began to notice how fat everybody,...I mean everybody was. I was tempted to grab leftovers on park picnic tables. Yeah I was. However my sense of personal dignity held me back.

This other than selling my stuff is why I couldn't cross that line into begging for food or coins to get food. 'Dignity'. It's a lot gang. Hold onto yours.

I my whole life have given money, and food to the too many hungry on the streets of this Emerald City.

Now I was on the receiving end.

Well nearly was. Selling one's stuff has been somewhat de-poverty-ized what with eBay, and all. Everybody it seems trades or sells their things. So I could fool myself that this wasn't actually begging,...it was, but still.

Well I live in the aftermath now.

The aftermath of my "Great Famine of 2016". What do I make of these six months of hunger in the fattest country on earth. Btw since college I was a husky big guy. Well that has trimmed down somewhat.

I had run out of holes in my belt.

What I wear was flapping in the wind .I could see my nuts when I showered. "Hello boys,...it's been a while!" That, and my ribs were just starting to show,...fuck!

I eat differently now,...other than my pizza fantasy I mention above. Mostly fruit, and veggies...some chicken, but ya know. So I'll likely not get sloppy, and tubby again.

When people see me they say, "...have you been on a diet?" I just say "...yeah", and leave it at that.

I'm tired....more later.


Stay Tuned.


"Dinner at Eight"

I have a story about Malnutrition...yeah for real adventures on the edge of actual starvation. I'm still recovering ya know. Which is why I'm so bleeping weak, and confused.

I kept it secret like I kept being Houseless near 10 years back. I had a bit of a problem with Social services they accidently cut off my food supplement, and wouldn't turn it back on till I got a pro-bono lawyer to force them to.

Seems it will take some months to recover. I thought just having a few good meals would do it...no dice. Symptoms continue. Pains headaches nausea the runs vertigo confusion weakness.

Swell huh.

Since march I've been selling my belongings books mostly to eat. I let go of all my equipment from decades in the radio biz as well...got pennies on the dollar...just fucking neat. I found that shops rip you off so I sold most of my books on the street outside of train stations.

Humiliating at first, but it was that or starve.

Turns out I was in the early stages of starvation...amazing that. 200,000+ folks suffer with this jazz in this richest of all nations. Mostly kids, and old folks. The rest don't know or care.

Well a few care.

You saw the pictures below in other posts from the Holy Apostles Church. They pointed me in the right direction for legal help. Why didn't I seek help when all this started months ago?

Because I'm fucking nuts okay?

Depression PTSD the works. I prefer to deal with shit on my own like when I told no one when I lost my house years ago. Gimme a break okay.

Anyway them lawyer gals were pissed as hell when they found out what I've been going through. Apparently this is pretty bad shit for even the Department of Old Farts so they're making a point of kicking butt.

Gee thank gals,...lunch is on me.

More later. I need to take a nap. Yeah like I sez below I need them these daze. What the heck.

Stay tuned.